Hey friend, my humble apologies for not showing up in your inbox the last few weeks. I returned from my trip to Pakistan a while ago and it turned out there was a lot that needed sorting before I got back to my routine.

The fact that I am pretty much new to the idea of working for myself, streamlining my creative process, and aligning it with the stories I want to publish has been a hassle lately… but we’ll get to that later. First, I want to thank everyone who subscribed while I was away. Welcome to The Achievers; I hope our tiny corner on the internet inspires you to be kinder and softer with yourself and with those around you.

It is surreal to see our family growing, and I am eternally grateful to each one of you for signing up. If today’s issue resonates with you, I’d appreciate you sharing it with a friend who might do well with some inspiration.

Life Update: Moving to Australia and Learned Helplessness.

I have always enjoyed reading. It was my favorite pastime growing up. And when I say I was an avid reader, I don’t at all mean I found reading course books fun. I could read a novel, self-help book, or magazines featuring stories of successful people, but never the course books. I found them boring… but that’s not the point here. When I started The Achievers, I took inspiration from a magazine my best friend and I had the best time reading back in the school days.

It was the only magazine for teenagers at the time, featuring stories of celebrities we looked up to and stories that always had a moral lesson to inspire readers. In hindsight, I realise now that it was an apt strategy to help with personal development and bring value to those who invested their time in reading and buying each month’s issue, which also reminds me of some words of wisdom our teacher shared with us during one of her lectures back in I-don’t-even-remember-which-grade.

The message somehow stuck with me, though.

And I remember her saying, “The books we read in our childhood stay with us forever. Be mindful of what you read, for they will shape your imagination, personality, and understanding of the world.” While I agree with what she said, especially after perusing a few articles on the internet, I also believe, from my personal experience, that content consumption does a lot more than just entertain us. Yes, I intentionally changed the term here, because, in my humble opinion, quality of content matters more than its type (feel free to disagree). If you are not much of a reader, consider watching educational videos on the topic of your choice and you’ll notice a positive change in your behavior. Or better, listen to audiobooks - who cares if you didn’t read it or what other people think?

***

I recently came across the idea of learned helplessness, and a lot of what I had been dealing with started to make sense.

So, the study goes, in the 1960s, psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven Meyer conducted a series of experiments to understand the idea behind learned helplessness and found that after getting exposed to a negative stimulus in a cage, the dogs stopped trying to escape even when given the opportunity.

The psychologists explained this phenomenon as a learned behaviour. The dogs stopped looking for an escape out of their misery because they believed it didn’t exist, further relating the results with how human beings react to disappointments. One accident and you start questioning if your dreams are valid or not, whether you should even pursue them.

“What’s the point of even trying when I know I will fail.” It is like a light bulb switches off in our brain as soon as we are met with unanticipated circumstances, which in no way do I mean, is unnatural. How does one even believe there’s light at the end of the tunnel when you cannot even see the end…?

This my friend is called ‘Learned Helplessness.” A behaviour you acquire because of a negative stimulus. Unfortunately, it could be anything — or anyone! A rigid boss with their orthodox management strategies, leaving you second guess your abilities as they micromanage you, a series of rejection letters, first from your dream college and then your dream job, or moving a million miles away from your loved ones, and struggling to pursue your goals when all you want to do is meet your parents again.

And here I am, suddenly, reminded of when I had just moved to Australia.

Now, here’s a thing: as much as moving to Australia humbled me, it also had me face a series of negative experiences. And there came a point when the idea of chasing goals seemed to drain me. And talking about ambitions felt unreal, a far-fetched dream with no end in sight, mere vocabulary rich people used to fill up awkward silence during uninteresting conversations at dinner tables.

However, now that I am a year wiser, I have come to understand how setbacks are no reflection of you, but the stepping stones on the way to a rewarding, more successful life.

***

It was interesting to see how when you finally understand your behavior, a lot of what you do starts to make sense. Fortunately, this didn’t last long but I do believe the rebound would have been swifter if I knew what I was experiencing, why I was experiencing it, and how I could overcome it.

To anyone experiencing something similar, start by appreciating how far you have come. Pat yourself on the back for making tough choices and living through it all. Trust me, moving far from home and family is no joke and you’re doing great even if you have not hit your milestones as of yet.

Here are some more ways to overcome learned helplessness:

• Recognise that what you are experiencing is not inherent behavior. It is a learned behavior, and you can overcome it.

• Stay active, exercise and surround yourself with people who inspire you.

• Set targets/ small goals. This is a game-changer.

• Discipline yourself.

• Seek help.

• Stop comparing. Your journey is yours, and not theirs.

My Goal for The Achievers

I have been contemplating how I have been on both ends of the spectrum, feeling inspired after watching something positive and facing the brunt of a doom scroll for hours on end over time. It has given me quite a perspective on how I want to proceed with The Achievers now.

Moving forward, I will be focusing on not only sharing insightful stories of immigrants, but you will be receiving a thought piece from me as well. It will be a short piece, that will have me reflecting on my journey. Considering I am still new to navigating life as an immigrant, the goal is to make this a safe space for people to open up about their struggles and find solutions together.

Missed The Achiever’s spotlight this week? Feel free to recommend stories you wish to see in future issues by hitting a reply to this week’s issue.

Who’s Hiring?

Someone posted they were looking for volunteers to fill up the role of a copywriter in a group of working women on WhatsApp. Upon finding that it was a remote role, I couldn’t be more disappointed, especially after seeing people applying for the role.

Don’t get me wrong. I am all for internships and volunteering. You learn and grow, working alongside mentors and colleagues with years of experience. But there are certain roles for which you don’t require experience if you have the skills, and a copywriter is one such role.

This experience made me add a new section, ‘who’s hiring’ to our weekly issues.

‘Who’s hiring’ will feature an exclusive list of remote opportunities in digital marketing and recruitment in the upcoming issues. These will be curated from trustworthy sources and verified to be scammers-free. Feel free to keep an eye out for this section in future emails if you are interested in finding a remote role.

Quote of the Week

Share Your Story

Want a fellow expat to learn from your journey? Share your story in response to this email, and I would be happy to feature it in the next issue of The Achievers.

And that’s a wrap!

If you enjoyed reading today’s issue, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to say hi to me and share your feedback in response to this email.

Know a friend who will appreciate being a part of The Achievers? Don’t forget to share it with them.

See you next week!