Expat Letter Series: Letter #1

Dear You,

How are you? It feels like years have gone by since we last talked. Life as we knew it changed so much that I sometimes wonder if it’s actually mine. Do you ever feel like you’re a spectator, watching moments go by like trains pass at a station? The last two years felt like that; every moment that I thought would last, stayed for a fleeting moment and got etched in my memory. I moved to Australia last year, and today as I prepare for my next trip this coming March, it feels like life has a knack for keeping me, us on our toes.

My friend, there’s so much I would like to share with you but before I begin, promise me, you’ll write to me, too. I’ll wait for your response like the old days.

***

It is Saturday morning, and I can hear the raindrops pelting against my kitchen window as I sit here on my bed, sipping coffee and writing my first letter to you. It is a good life, and I have no complaints - at least on the surface, I don’t.

I have my room’s window up, and I can smell the fresh grass; the sidewalk looks wet from all the rain from last night, producing the earthy scent we, ‘nature enthusiasts’ adore. Google search tells me it is called “Petrichor.”

I took a walk in the park this morning, and the breeze smelt of roses and lavenders. It looked like the Spring season had finally arrived, reminding me how blessed I was to be surrounded by all these glorious trees and plants.

Remember how I wouldn’t shut up about living in a place where I could take a walk in the park and not be bothered about burning in the excruciating sunlight? I finally got the chance to live that dream. I am surrounded by nature; Adelaide is, in fact, a heaven on Earth because of all the nature they have preserved.

In a parallel universe, I could be merrily living in Adelaide. People are genuinely friendly here, and it is home to the best beaches in the world. Some I have visited, some I plan to visit soon, and except for the food, everything is almost nearly as perfect as you would dream. You remember how much I love desi food, right?

In another universe, I could be happy, living in a country where my rights are protected by the government, and I have the freedom to walk alone no matter the time or place. But this is not a parallel universe and I miss my life back home.

You could call me stubborn, but my heart longs for a life where I am with my family, enjoying dinner cooked with love by Mum again. I keep revisiting the memories we made in the last 25 years I spent with them. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate everything I have now.

Life is beautiful, and I have all the time in the world to work on projects I have been meaning to work on for years. Finally getting the chance to write to you is one of them, and I could not be more grateful for everything that happened last year. But there’s a part of me (a big part, actually!) inside that wonders why we couldn’t have it all in our country. I mean, we were blessed with everything, too, right? Why didn’t we protect our land like we were supposed to? At least that way, we wouldn’t have to live so far away from our family.

On occasions like these, when I am alone, lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, my mind takes me back to my room, where the fan whirred in the background, and I had my little siblings nagging me like you would nag your older sister. It was a simple life. Even if we didn’t have it all, we had our people to fall back to. In Adelaide, it is as if I am born again. What I knew then, I don’t think it applies to anything here. I am constantly unlearning, learning, and unlearning again.

My mind is always on to something. I guess, that’s what growth means. You step out of your comfort zone to make something of your life, and I am proud of myself for taking the leap of faith and trying something I never imagined doing. I hope you’re proud of yourself, too!

I remember the first time I went to the city and caught a glimpse of the Aussie culture, a tear trickled down my right cheek. As warm as the view was, I wasn’t used to seeing it. Felt like I was part of some movie and my innocent heart wondered where the hell were the people I grew up with.

Friends passed by in groups, chatting and laughing, reminding me of my friends. A girl ran after a child, and I saw my nephew running around us in a circle, as we prepared to say our goodbyes to each other at the airport.

It was bittersweet, the realization that I was in a new world. Gladly, I managed to spend the whole day out, stopping by every store and shop to somehow register this new sight in my heart.

Now that I am a year wiser, I figure it was culture shock messing with my mind. I was reading about it some time ago and found expats are likelier to experience culture shock. I was perhaps, at the ‘frustration stage’ because I felt out of place. I felt like I didn’t belong - and stayed irritated and depressed all the time.

Glad it’s over now and my heart has learned to accept everything my life is bringing my way. While the longing remains, I am softly reminding myself to adjust to the new culture, slowly finding the sweet balance between missing my old life and adapting to the new one.

Dear friend, if you ever find yourself battling culture shock, here’s a list of things you can do:

1. Step out of your house, engage with the locals, and meet new people.

2. Stay true to your identity and people will love you for your authenticity.

3. Learn something new about your new home to stay updated about what makes the two cultures different.

4. Take it slow. Take it as a journey.

5. Don’t pressure yourself; remember you’re in no rush.

6. Record your feelings. If you cannot keep a journal, record voicemails, or talk about your feelings to combat loneliness and depression.

My friend, I could go on and on with my ramblings but the clock’s ticking at 1 AM now, reminding me to sleep and say my goodbye to you. However, before I go, I would like to leave you with a quote I found on a culture shock that helped me in my journey. I hope it reminds you to be kind to yourself, your heart, and your soul, too!

I hope I didn’t bore you with my ramblings and kept you engrossed in my letter throughout.

Please say my salam (greetings) to your parents back home and I’ll meet you soon with a new letter.

Love,

Mariam ❤️ 

My Favorite Book (This Week)

Hide and Seek by Nusrat Osama Siddiqi

This book is a labor of love of a grandmother for her grandchildren, woven from her life experiences. The book is a compilation of stories, each ending with a moral lesson, you can share with your children before bedtime to bond with them.

If you liked reading today’s issue, don’t forget to share it with a friend who’d appreciate being part of The Achievers’ Community.

See you next week!